Integer Orange

Human value and the terror attacks.

2006-07-18T09:32:00.000+08:00

Very often, in Asian societies, I beileve we ascribe too little value to a human life. The whole "family" value system encourages and forces self sacrifice. You are taught from the beginning that you are no better than a worm in the larger scheme of things..and you accept your destiny fatalistically..When pulled out from the system..many of us flounder..wondering what purpose we could have independent of our environments..and are unable to cope with the sudden self importance..lacking any purpose.coz we've never had to deal with it before..

westerners on the other hand..bomb an entire country because 2 soldiers are kidnapped.. more people die in bathtubs than terrorist attacks..but that justifies Iraq and Afghanistan being invaded and decimated.. Terror attacks in London and Madrid produce visceral reactions in the populace there. In Mumbai, life goes on, and we "admire" the "Mumbai" spirit..

I say , it is more a reflection of our poverty, that in spite of such tragedy, our life must go on.. we have no choice..no time to mourn..no time to respect the dignity of the people who died.. we move on..and get back into the race to survive.

It makes you feel very small when it hits you. The fact that you do not matter..and that you have no value as a human being.

soccer is boring without gambling

2006-06-28T10:31:00.000+08:00

I was never really a soccer fan until i discovered soccer betting. Never really understood all the fuss about the world cup..did like watching the south Americans in general,they have fun with their football..the europeans are too formal about it..making strategies, passing so much..no artistry..

So this world cup, I invested heavily..Consider it a calculated risk..Busily strategized various hedging options..scrutinized odds..prepared spreadsheets..Even watching Brazil thrash ghana yesterday was a huge thrill..Would they score 1 goal or 3 ? When you have 20 bucks on the balance..every penalty area penetration has your heart in your mouth..

still..gotta love those brazilians though..they made it 3..

but getting back to the point..betting is immense fun..I hope this isnt the beginning of a slippery slope...Maybe i can apply these principles to the stock market.

heres hoping I win at least a 100 bucks..everyday !

in summary

2006-05-20T13:14:00.000+08:00

called home..as i usually do every weekend..they reported a hundred new things..
i had nothing new to report..it is a depressing thought..nothing noteworthy in my life anymore..
pretty much why the blog is filled with meaningless posts like this..

escaping the is

2006-05-02T00:21:00.000+08:00

just bacK after another hectic round of travelling...travelling on business is like an eclair with a hollow inside. Places buzz by in a jetlagged daze and you hardly register anythng unique..people are the same everywhere. It is quite depressing , the human nature. long trips like this make you lose your thread. Your life is a set of strands wavering in the winds of destiny.

you can watch a movie, read a book, go out with your friends, take a holiday, the many mythical escape routes. In the end, you come back to this one feeling, this one meaning, this one single prison of existence. Variety is an illusion created by your mind to escape the monotony of the grand existence. the intricate web your brain creates. emperor to ant, it is all the same. life is all about escaping the Is. travelking on business just drives your deeper inside the cave of Is.

blogomatic

2006-02-05T22:43:00.000+08:00

i wish i had a automatic thought to blog converter..i keep missing so many things i want to record..random thoughts that disappear by the time i sit in front of the computer..
it is somewhat scary..the idea of complete impermanence..no identity, nothing more than a sum of thoughts..

doing ok

2005-10-24T09:17:00.000+08:00

saw a Rerun of the 98 wimbledon championships, Pete Sampras winning his 5th wimbledon..at the championship dinner afterwards , he said "I just realized i had equalled Bjorn Borgs record of 5 Wimbledons, and I thought to myself, "I am doing ok.." " in a very modest understated sort of way..

I just moved into my new apartment, it's very spacious, we started talking of buying a pool table, or playing cricket inside the house..as i lay on the bed, looking up at a high ceiling, pool view on my left, i though to myself "I am doing ok.."

sometimes its the little things that make you feel like a champ,

my own arc

2005-10-09T03:00:00.000+08:00

haven't blogged in a long time.
summary of events :
- travelled to india, trapped in a cyclone, escaped in a train.
- read the broker, by john grisham and realized that paperbacks are fun, and nothing more
- drank a lot of wine in various places, wine is a nice afternoon alcohol.
- went to china again - the abundance of wealth and growth is astounding, trhe contrast in the countryside is stark and disturbing.
- watched hazaaron khwaishe , understood yet disagreed with the leftists.
- found a new house to move in - filled with apprehension
-most recently, had an excellent meal of red rice and chicken curry and lots of coconut filled items in kerala cuisine
- currently slightly inebriated.

sigh..these are all simple narrations of events..as if life could be described as "start, live and stop"
Everyone has epic arcs, feats of triumph, acts of glory, victories and defeats, tragedy , adversity and redemption. wish i could locate my arc. wish i could focus on some destination, this listlessnes and random diversity of actions is crushing me....need to find my arc..

grannys lesson

2005-09-07T13:41:00.000+08:00

It was my grandmas bday yesterday..lout that I am, i forgot, despite sms reminders from my mom.. shes well beyond 80, i am not even sure how many beyond..She wobbles along on two fake hips and a walking stick, and is one of the most determined spirited people i know..

I called , shameful, tail between my legs and wished her..I apologized for not being able to call yesterday. she had never really been big on birthdays..this time, .she gamely replied, "I am so old now, every day is like a birthday for me"..

and that got me thinking...

hedging bets with god

2005-09-04T02:16:00.001+08:00

I always used to bet against India whenever India played an important match. The logic was kinda like "if any0ne must lose, please let it be me.." if India did lose, the pain was assuaged by monetary benefits..if India won..well..yay..

problem is, i have been applying this principle to the rest of my life, and investing time, money and mental effort in outcomes I dont really want, hoping only to relieve some of the pain if the eventuality does pan out..

don't know if it is a really smart strategy in life..end up not even waiting for the outcome, and taking the safe route all the time...
safe job, safe house, safe relationship, safe friends, safe hobbies..
shit..safety depresses me..

a message to you rudy

2005-09-01T22:45:00.000+08:00

stop your messing around, ah-ah-ah.
beetter think of your future, ah-ah-ah.
rudy,
a message to you rudy,
stop your fooling around ah-ah-ah
time is running right out - ah-ah-ah.
better think of your future
before you get into problems in town..
rudy.

- one of the most inspiring songs i have heard in a long time..

and trumpets absolutely rock..i used to play the bugle. ..wistful sigh....where can i find a bugle here ?

dealing with mediocrity

2005-08-29T10:22:00.000+08:00

i read this article about this 29 year old guy who traded in stocks and shares and ended up being a millionaire. We read about people who win lotteries. Or like the guy in Envy, who invents a chemical to vapourize dog poo. I read about men who marry rich wives..people seem to make money in the most ingenious of ways..

I wish i could be extraordinarily good at something..so good that it paid me a lot of money..just to be.. it is so teribble to be ordinary..nothing more than your father or mother's life repeated in the same dull pattern...i envy the life of the idle rich..the rich have such opportunity..

i often dream, that if I had a million bucks, I would make it 10 million... it's very hard to make 10 dollars a thousand, it is so much easier to turn one million into 10..

sigh..anyways..here is to dreaming...

when in doubt, eat..

2005-08-26T11:14:00.000+08:00

one of the great things about being in a sales role, is discovering these fantastic places to eat,

here is a list of great places for an ex vegetarian Indian to eat in Singapore

1. Raj - one funky Swamy lifted his veshti and set up shop in Calcutta in 1965. 40 years later, Singapore became home to Raj, the king of Indian vegetarian places here. the place has really caught my imagination, with the miniature molaga podi idlis, and the cream of cream soups..my friends think I have gone nuts about this place -

2. Gangotree - best place for Indian chinese food, the gobi manchuria and fried rice. the rest is crap, but this stuff is great

3. andhra spice/ andhra cury - the gongura is to die for..my idea of bliss is eating chicken 65 at andhra curry and farting red farts afterwards. I am sure the food there has done serious damage to my liver and stomach lining, but it is soo worth it. you can also pick up a telugu CD there as you leave

4. rang mahal - pan pacific- i would call this fusion food, strangely westernized indian food that still manages to taste good ..

5. marches - the cow outside, the rosti inside..the best western food in town ! beats all the pretentious five stars hollow !

6. hong kong street chun kee : the best place for chinese food, the black pepper chicken, the sweet and sour pork, the baby kailan, best value for money, cheap good food

7. chutney mary - i like this place, the chaat is great there, no matter what people say. siglap's little gem

8. Portobellos/ original sin - great mediterranean places with pasta and hummus to die for

9. ganga woodlands - went there nearly every week when i first came here, but the bangalorean in me will always like this place

10. cha cha chas - great mexican food at holland V..chimichangas and kahlua mousse..great stuff !

organized slavery

2005-08-24T11:20:00.000+08:00

corporations are nothing but organized slavery..a hirearchy with well defined proecedures for licking arse..

HELP !! RESCUE me from this galley ! give me my freedom back...

my first intervention

2005-08-22T09:05:00.000+08:00

so, I was enjoying sunday lazing around when one vociferous friend of mine decided it was time for an intervention. The guy shares a flat with me, so it is difficult to escape. So there I was looking forward to munching on my cornflakes, wondering about where to go to lunch, (andhra curry perhaps ? i needed some spice in this dull existence) when my friend explodes on me about how fat I have become. He pointed out a few supporting facts

Fact 1 : I was skinny and weighed 75 Kgs when I came to singapore 5 years ago. i now weigh 98
Fact 2 : Everyone eats one noodle packet, or cup once in a while. I eat 2-3 at a time, and many many times.
Fact 3 : People have breakfast, lunch and dinner , i have coffee, snacks, lunch, snacks, dinner, snacks, supper, noodles
Fact 4 : I never excercise, seldom indulge in activity, and spend most of my weekend lounging on the sofa. Other people play sports, i play golf.

In the words of my aforementioned "friend" - "You are like a python man, you were just skinny, and then swallowed something whole. You may have pulled it off for a while coz you were tall and all, but now everyone is telling me you have becomme massive man. "

My girlfriend then promptly validated all his claims, and piled on to me, enforcing a strict excersise and dietary regimen. There was repeated talk of uncles who ate a lot and got diabetes.

sigh..i have now become FAT..

more later on the battle of the bulge

lazy sunday

2005-08-14T21:25:00.000+08:00

life is about finding enough time for a lazy sunday morning like today..woke up..went to the coffee connection..had a big breakfast at around 10.. had interesting and completely useless discussions with the love of my life over coffee..(stuff memories are made of)..came back..saw some tv..read an interesting book on the perils of a life in consulting...

the rest of the day was shitty..weekdays are shitty..but sunday morning is pretty much what i live for..

anti blog

2005-07-22T16:48:00.000+08:00

maddox (i am a big fan) has ranted on blogs for a bit...this time i think he may be pushing it a bit far.. check it out..

2005-07-05T08:46:00.000+08:00

One of my friends recently took up Singaporean citizenship. Aforementioned friend claimed it would be easier to go to the US on H1B if one is a Singaporean. Other arguements included annulling of the Bond (otherwise known as leash/slave tag), I found an interesting Singaporean take on immigration. The whole idea appalled me. Is citizenship merely a matter of opportunistic barter ? Is it all about a machiovellian manipulation of immigration systems ? What constitutes a better life and greater opportunity? The friend casually dismissed the concept of nationality as a tribal atavism. In an era of global citizens, nations are but a baggage. The whole conversation left me shaken. Have emotions and patriotism been conquered by cold hard logic ?
What is the one's alleigance to one's nation ?

tragicomix unravelled

2005-06-18T19:21:00.000+08:00

So, my company paid a whole lot of money for me to go to this workshop called "Life". Did some holistic thinking, personality preference testing, creative tensioning, inner vision development, climbing up and down ladders of inference. Came away with the strong sense that Westerners somehow struggle very hard to find their sense of balance in life. Maybe it is affluence or a cultural afflication. Met a guy who went through a divorce, got himself a " life coach " (company paid for that too) . I think Asians tend to find their sense of balance much easier. this concept of detatchment and maya seems ingrained in our culture. I tend to go through life thiniking it is some one elses, all the feelings we feel, the emotions we express, everything is just something happening to someone in this universe of being. Don't know why it is so hard for them to get.

lassi in earthen pot : jaipur

2005-06-12T16:26:00.000+08:00

nothing to beat the heat like a cool glassfull of lassi, served fresh in an earthen pot, with a totaly unhealthy dollop of 'malai' or cream on top. the sheer decadence is unbeatable.
that, and jantar mantar with weird inclined planes surrealistic stuff, where guides mumble gibberish about celstial angles and spheres.. there was dog on top of the gigantic inclined plane, the sight was highly comic..wish i had a picture to put up.
that was jaipur : temp : 45 degrees.

vodka pani puri :

2005-06-12T16:23:00.000+08:00

nowhere is globalization as evident as in bombay, where pratap da dhaba, also known as chawlas, a venerable institution that has been around since the 60's, offers pani puri vodka shots. with of course, vodka being the pani in the puri. my humble salutations to mr pratap, who came up with this brilliant idea(?)
that was highlight of bombay - 35 degrees.

weaseliest countries

2005-05-27T11:17:00.000+08:00

Dilbert ran a poll on weasilest countries, industies etc . Pakistan is no 5 on the list..after of course the US, france, Iran and North Korea... interesting..

getting married in singapore

2005-05-26T10:03:00.000+08:00

q: how does a singaporean guy propose to a singaporean girl?
ans : eh..pay deposit (for flat) ok or not ?

The unclefication of tragicomix

2005-05-26T09:42:00.000+08:00

all is lost. Went to a colleagues party, Colleague introduces me as tragicomix "Uncle" to Son. the circle is complete. I have become my father. I have been uncled.

more epic than i am

2005-05-25T09:28:00.000+08:00

i look at my previous post and realize what a pathetic attempt it is to make my life seem more epic than it is..

should have been a dog trainer..would have probably come home and bitched about the dog to my wife.. or whine about my bitch to the dog..either way..

all jobs suck..

the idiocratic invasion :part 1: working in an MNC

2005-05-23T02:45:00.000+08:00

MM Lee wrote a book proclaiming Singapore was in the first world..

to me, the definition of a first world country comes down to individual happiness in daily life..the greater good, the bigger purpose, all boiled down in the end to individual satisfaction with ones life..i am going to look at all the different aspects of my life in Singapore..and evaluate my general situation..

maybe this will even help me decide whether i should stay on after my bond..

Part 1:

Working in a large multinational corporation drains me.

I saw "In good company" recently, and somehow it moved me..It was a typical feel good, slow down on your career, family is good, standard hollywood tripe.. but what i liked was one scene in which Dennis Quaid says "It all seems very arbitrary" ... we keep hearing all this talk of Globalization, and as Tom Friedman says, "We all live in a flat world, with equal opportunity"
I wonder how many of us really understand the implications of this global phenomena.. By the time global capitalization trickles down to a little quisling like me in the system..it does all seem pretty arbitrary..companies change hands in days, and this affects lives of ordinary white collar workers..in ways they simply cannot control...don't get me wrong, i am no communist denouncing capitalism..
i firmly believe large corporations and competition act as agents of economic efficiency...
But surely there is more to life than economic efficiency..

In a globalized world, there is less and less job security, less and less comfort zones..and it is true we need to adjust to all this constant change..but we need to have some sort of anchors to help deal with all this change..be it family, hobbies, passions etc..

my friend complained that he just felt "isolated" working in a large coroporation..and i could empathize with that..here i am working with people from australia, india, china, japan, europe and america..(let alone bengalis and punjabis, frenchmen from paris and frenchmen from corsica!) ..i don't know the 90,000 odd people in my company..i don't even know the people who work all the floors in my building well..

humans have a fundamental societal needs to "belong" somehwere..and not getting a feeling of belonging in a workplace..is a very dislocating feeling..i dont feel fixed, or purposeful..i feel like i am drifting along listlessly, with very little idea of what i am achieving.. my individual contribution is meaningless, but collectively we move mountains..
My company keeps talking of work life balance..frankly, nobody in my company takes it seriously..at least in Asia..because, all said and done..we value the rice bowl above all else..and we would do anything before jeopordazing that... and i think that is the worst part of not being in a first world country..not the lack of opportunity, or the lack of material comforts, but the lack of mental comfort, a lack of understanding that the bottom line is not really the bottom line...not in our individual lives..

and that is when singapore can truly say it lives in the first world..

sci fi/ fantasy

2005-03-30T16:13:00.000+08:00

i am always irked by book stores that club both of these into one stand. sci fi/fantasy, in my humble opinion, is not the same genre ! sci fi clearly has rules and structure, intricate worlds that obey their own rules with ruthless discipline, framed on a very plausible logic. add to that, it has the possibility of coming true..
fantasy is just that..without the possibility of it ever being real..

other people's lives

2005-03-17T17:30:00.000+08:00

the great thing about blogging is that it allows me to satisfy one of my most sacred subconscious needs, my need for attention, while retaining a virtual wall of anonymity...it is the same kind of privacy I have in large crowds, i get to do my own thing in my space, the urban walls of indifference shield me from excessive embarassment..

but sometimes it is fascinating to see what people really think about..a nice little window into other peoples lives..into a completely different perspective..a different reference frame.. the diveristy astounds me. .you can almost live the other person's life..

i think blogging is going to unleash a new phase in humanity..much like democracy..it is a phenomenon that facilitates greater human interaction, without the ugly clashes, much like democracy allowed for a systematic approach to settle differences....will this translate into change in the real world ? in the long term..i think it will..

the axes of life

2005-01-16T15:34:00.000+08:00

what axes could you measure life on ? time ? love? purpose? the trick is to simeltaneously achieve symmetry on all these axes..

The racial order of societies

2004-12-10T17:49:00.000+08:00

Sex and the Indian Psyche : The history project.

2004-12-06T20:41:00.000+08:00

I have often wondered about the great Indian social taboo. No one ever talks much about sex. It just isnt a done thing. Girls dont discuss sex with their girlfriends, guys (at least the guys i hang out with..maybe they are all virgins) dont like talking about sex..and if a girl loses her virginity..its a huge deal. I dont know if Indians are

I dont know if I am only talking about my point of view based on my limited interactions, but the Indians I have interacted with have all been loathe to talk about sex.

there is this whole puritanical streak that doesnt allow us to talk about sex. Screw the kamasutra, its only popular in the west. Like yoga and mysticism, saints and such. In everyday society, we seldom see instance in the public domain, be it tv shows, media columns, where wives discuss sex with husbands..People hardly sleep around !

A comedian once joked, that when Indians do foreplay, they go straight for the tits and bite them. Thats about how horny we all are. The movies that show "bold" kissing scenes today, have heroines whose careers are more or less defined uni dimensionally as sex dolls. I believe its more an outcome of Indias skewed male demographics and male dominant culture that resulted in a spate of these new sex based movies.

What i hate the most is the absolute taboo associated with it. Even in Singapore, this group of Indians politely believe that all the boyfriends and girlfriends do is occasionally make out in the privacy of bedrooms.

Women in India are strongly labelled by the madonna whore complex..I wish we could be more understanding..it is sad socially, that we do not have free sex in our society. We proudly believe in the Asian Family way..but if the foundation of that family is compromise..we are doomed to a fatalistic society..I believe free sex is a vehicle towards liberalism, and that open minds lead to intellectual progress..

Many friends of mine say, look at these westerners, they all get divorced so often..I cant help but feel , divorce may be a good thing at times..marriage neednt be the be all and end all of a society..a marriage has to provide personal fulfilment, and if divorce can provide that on a different plane..and being single satisfies other needs..so be it ! why do have to do things a particular way simply because generations did it that way ?

I wish people were open about sex..sexual liberation frees the mind. Sex is a joyous act of love, why is everyone in India so ashamed of it ? ? What is fundamentally wrong with a one night stand ? What does the pride of virginity carry for a woman today ? Shouldnt other things matter more than who fucked her ? Isnt pride in virginity an arcane objectification of women ?

I, with my cable tv puberty , feel this way. I wonder how many other Indians feel the same way.

I wonder how many Indians remain virgins till they are married. I exhort all of you to comment, with your views. Whether you disagree or agree, I wish people would talk more about sex. Forget the fact that we have the worlds second largest AIDS population. Thats only one of the many symptoms of the sexual taboo that grips our society. I am more concerned about the deeper more fundamental impact on the nature of Indian Society. Indians live in extremes, they either have very closed minds, or are super liberal about life. I urge anyone who reads this to promptly put up a comment, stating whether they lost their virginity, how many times they did..and state their sexual history. I hope the anonymity proves encouraging.

Please comment with details of your sexual history, and your views on it..Agree or vehemently disagree with me, but please , talk about it.

Thanks,

tragicomix

angst ridden sunrises

2004-12-06T20:37:00.000+08:00

why doesnt anyone read my blog ? how do i get a blog popular ? wish i knew..never been too popular myself..my blog is a wishing wand trying to wish away my loneliness..women come and women go..i wish they would soothe my soul instead of flaming it in bursts of passion.

2004-10-30T18:23:00.000+08:00

male :

i cant count the guns in my head
the many brides i do not wed.
building temples to my overstated abulia
escpaing imprisonment , trying to be near.
logic my religion, purpose my reason,
to lead is to think, to follow is to listen.
loneliness is my second best friend,
your women are mine to lend
history operates in shapes i create,
the future in my head is always too late.
all my needs, i will succeed.
i will create, i will not heed.

apathy

2004-10-17T21:48:00.000+08:00

lately, i have been overcome by apathy..is it because my girlfriend is out of town ? i think its a symptom of a deeper problem. but neuroscientists disagree..they say the brain sends out chemicals that make us feel blue when the partner is missing..apparently i have a very high oxytocin level..sigh..if the mysteries of love are too feeble a challenge for science..i say science be damned..like the people of erewhon, (samuel butlers classic utopia) let us cast away science and religion, kill the sick and treat the immoral..and worship ourselves..

but getting back to the subject..i have no reason to be unhappy..but this great boredom creeps in..i can spend whole days doing nothing, blankly, staring at the ceiling fan rotate pointlessly. its only work that forces me out of bed..

people are over rated. the lone elephant thing works well for me..rummaging through imaginary forests, searching for some forsaken durians, its appealing a life as any other. its a sickening feeling, to wake up in the morning and not know what you want to do today...all options seems equally unimportant..

a friend asked me..what do you really like doing ? and i didnt have an answer..except maybe writing..which explains this..

btw..i really dont know how to get the comments going..would somebody please tell me..?

getting over the insignificance

2004-07-29T22:20:00.000+08:00

i cant get over our insignificance..

we live trivial lives, from the napolean to janitor joe, to kuppuswamy the it nerd, we give our lives a sense of importance..

but somehow..i cant seem to find it.

existence seems to be so meaningless..

sometimes i tell myself that just being is the purpose, and that purpose is a human invention that we all search for outside the human perspective,

i feel this intense lethargy..this absolute sense of futility wash over me..like a tidal wave.

brief moments of glory have brief roborant effects on the psyche..but in the end..

there is only futility and insignificance

it scares me and cows me down

i am back

2004-07-29T21:46:00.000+08:00

after a lengthy hiatus

i am back

the freaking pain

2004-05-10T23:46:00.000+08:00

seriously, in this little isolated community of foreigners in a strange land, young college ppl, there has been a lot of pain. People have fallen in love and been crushed. ppl have been excluded from groups, people have hated each other snubbed each other. and as i look back at it, i feel, fucking shit..why couldnt we all jes get along?

expectations, feelings, everything mished mashed in this little society.

i hope im better equipped to handle it next time..at least ive come out of this with a few good friends..i guess thats what matters in the end..a few good friends..

why singapore depresses me

2004-05-07T20:31:00.000+08:00

this place, depresses me endlessly. I am easily depressible, but this town just takes me to new lows. This place has no spirit. You can live without freedom, you can live without riches, you can live without justice. But this place has no humanity left. Its been sucked out of it. Even in the poorest slums of Bombay, people have a will to live, and a yearning to survive. They have a glorious view of a future, and dreams of success. They produce gangsters, gangster movies, and skimpily clad heroines who dance around trees. In Rio De Janeiro, people lead socialist movements, party, even in the city of God, people have ambitions born of hope. In New York, people dream the wall street dream, people all over have aspirations and emotions. In Singapore, life is driven by fear and negativity. People want to be rich, not to enjoy being rich, but from fear of being poor. People in Singapore fear everything. The law, authority, success, lack of success, everything is driven by negativity. People dont look up to the sky and say, well, this is a lovely morning. People wake up early and work hard, because they think, well, we had better work hard, or else we will not survive. The battle for survival has been degraded to its basest level here. Community initiatives , Society as a whole, has this strong chinese undercurrent of " face". the facade of being happy for the sake of other people. I have heard tokyo is very similar in the sense of general angst that pervades society. You can see the depression in Manga, in Anime. But in Singapore, the people are all hollow, they really have nothing much to say. Everyone lives in little lego houses, as if they are pretending to live. Even the politicians pretend to be proud of it. Singapore is not a nation. It is just a very large group of people who have no where else to go.

making a difference

2004-05-05T13:54:00.000+08:00

in india, during the emergency, the indian express once came out with an empty newspaper..all blank, except for the title.

that gives me great hope. it means that by doing nothing, the editor engaged in the ultimate act of defiance.

makes me feel something will happen hee too..
Anand

disorganization is chaos theory

2004-05-05T13:52:00.000+08:00

i really should organize this thing..political stuff, lit stuff, be more a vertical blog..
but heck..who am i kidding..ill never get around to doing that..
at least i got the comments thing going.

but i guess disorganization is ok..coz genius and madness both stem from mayhem.
or at least, its a good enough excuse.

Why am I here?

2004-05-04T20:26:00.000+08:00

I wonder what kind of meritocracy this is. white horses. Old man's sons becoming BGs and head of Singtel. oh yeah, daughter in law leads temasek investment too. This nepotism disgusts me.

Why am I here ? Oh yeah, now I remember,ive sold my soul for money.

autopsies are us

2004-05-04T20:22:00.000+08:00

if you ever want die in mysterious circumstances, and feel something poking around you, this is what is happening. via cup of chicha

marrying the best friends wife

2004-05-04T03:34:00.000+08:00

read this interesting article about marrying a best friends wife.

people are crazy, times are strange,
i used to care, but things have changed

Mixed feelings

2004-05-03T18:08:00.000+08:00

In Nanyang U 4 years I have spent,
the time i borrowed, is time someone lent,

some view it with regret, and some with disdain,
Elation, Understatement, Anxiety and Pain,
Some are frustrated, some hopeful and some self pity.
Some disenchantment, indifference, sentimentality.

In truth, my answer would be all of the above,
i have changed irrevocably here, dont know how,

no point being optimistic,any thing i say is rhetoric,
but say something, or be branded a cynic,

ntu had labels many, typecasts i will be glad to break,
small society of strangers, each one our opinions make.

the future beckons, seductress, tempts me across the chasm,
here i go, in search of that great big orgasm.

Relationships

2004-04-29T04:16:00.000+08:00

So vaguely our angsts do intertwine,
I wish I could understand yours, and you mine.

2004-04-29T04:02:00.000+08:00

My take on Singapore :

Life in Heaven

In heaven, the streets so clean,
My woman, A beauty queen

Cash Condo Credit card and Car,
The country club isnt very far

The old man he makes me work
Disparate duties, I cannot shirk

He wrote our dreams, he made them come true
And I laugh with the laugh track like I am supposed to

the buildings tall, the sky so blue,
My soul views in similar hue

I just do, what the old man tells me to,
I just want, what he wants me to

Would you feel my angst, If I told you this?
The false mesiah we pretend to kiss ?

If you kill me, I will not cry,
If you rape me,I will not try.

2004-04-29T04:00:00.000+08:00

hello world